As students head back to school, we’re continuing to fight our state’s “Don’t Say LGBTQ+” and Banned Books law to protect our children and others like them.
By Reverend Brigit Stevens and Joe Stevens
In the heart of Iowa, our family — Joe, Brigit, our two teenagers Timber and Berry, two dogs, and a bearded dragon — cherishes the simple joys of Midwestern life. We revel in the changing seasons, engage in vibrant dinner conversations, and appreciate the public school system that has nurtured our children’s musical and extracurricular talents. Yet, amidst this idyllic backdrop, we find ourselves grappling with the harsh realities imposed by Iowa’s SF 496, a law that profoundly affects LGBTQ+ youth and families like ours.
As parents of a queer teenager, we are acutely aware of the challenges our children face in a world that often seems pitted against them. SF 496 comprises three main components:
- The “Don’t Say LGBTQ+” clause for K-6 public schools
- A book ban targeting works depicting any sex act
- A forced outing policy for trans or questioning students
Each of these elements has been meticulously designed to erase and endanger LGBTQ+ youth. Our family’s fight against this law is personal, deeply rooted in our desire to protect our children and others like them.
The “Don’t Say LGBTQ+” component effectively erases LGBTQ+ identities from early education. This erasure fosters ignorance and breeds prejudice, teaching young children that anything other than heteronormative identities is unacceptable. The book ban removes vital resources that affirm LGBTQ+ identities, creating an educational void that denies students the chance to see themselves and their experiences reflected in literature.
Lastly, the forced outing component is perhaps the most dangerous, compelling schools to inform parents if a student wishes to use a different name or pronoun, heedless of the student’s safety or readiness for their family to know. This forced disclosure can lead to familial rejection and homelessness, exacerbating the already high risks faced by LGBTQ+ youth.
We’ve witnessed firsthand the chilling effect these laws have on our community. Teachers and administrators, unsure of what they can and cannot say, are silenced. The supportive spaces that once existed for LGBTQ+ students are dismantled out of fear of retribution. This creates a toxic environment where bullying and harassment go unchecked, and students are left feeling isolated and unsafe.
This law sends a painful message to our family and countless others: that our existence, our love, and our identity are not acceptable. It’s a message that strikes at the very heart of our role as parents, making it harder for us to protect our children and ensure they feel safe and valued.
Our decision to join a lawsuit against SF 496 was not made lightly. As a family, we participated in demonstrations, spoke with legislators, and sought ways to challenge this unjust law. We understood that taking this step might be seen as making a bigger deal out of the issue than some might think necessary. But when laws are unjust, someone must stand up and say, “This is not right.” And that’s exactly what we did. We feel a responsibility to act on behalf of those who cannot.
Our experience with Lambda Legal, the ACLU of Iowa and the law firm Jenner & Block LLP has been nothing short of remarkable. The team’s compassion, wisdom, and unwavering support have helped us feel less alone in this fight. They have our backs, advocating for us in the courtroom and beyond. Their brilliance and dedication are a source of immense strength for us.
SF 496 not only affects LGBTQ+ children but also sends a damaging message to their peers and educators. It normalizes discrimination and in effect says people who are different should be hidden, feared, or scorned. This law is a distraction from the true purpose of education, which is to nurture young minds, foster socialization, and prepare children for a diverse world.
We urge our neighbors, community members, and fellow parents to consider the impact of SF 496. It does not keep children safe; it does not enhance education. Instead, it isolates and endangers some of our most vulnerable students. We want to believe that we all share the same goal: safety and learning for every child. This law fails to achieve that goal.
To those who support SF 496, we ask: Why do you want to hurt my family? Why make it harder for us to keep our children safe? Our primary concern is to keep our children safe, alive, and learning. This law makes that infinitely more difficult.
In our Midwestern home, amidst the laughter and the love, we continue to fight for a future where every child — regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation feels seen, heard, and valued. SF 496 stands in stark opposition to that future, and we will not stop fighting until it is changed.
