A Companion Guide to Protecting LGBTQ+ Families and Identities: A 10-Year Reflection on Obergefell and the Ongoing Fight for Equality
As lawmakers and pundits fuel debate about the future of marriage equality, many LGBTQ+ individuals and families are asking: What more can we do to protect ourselves—regardless of what happens next?
This supplemental guide provides additional tools and strategies to help LGBTQ+ families build legal, practical, and emotional security, especially in states that may be less protective.
Note: This document is for informational purposes only and not legal advice. Consult an attorney licensed in your state for guidance tailored to your circumstances.
[This page was last updated June 2025]
Legal Tools to Strengthen Your Family
1. Cohabitation or Relationship Agreements (for unmarried couples)
- If you are not married—or are concerned about the future availability of marriage in your state—consider creating a legal agreement to define financial arrangements, responsibilities, and property ownership.
- These contracts can reduce conflict and clarify expectations if your relationship ends or one partner becomes incapacitated.
2. Parenting Agreements and Standby Guardianship
- A parenting agreement can document your shared intent to raise a child together, even if only one parent is recognized by law. These are not legally binding in all states but can be persuasive in custody disputes.
- A standby guardianship designation allows a parent to name another adult who can take over parenting responsibilities immediately if the parent becomes seriously ill or dies—without court delays.
3. Certified Legal Documents for Travel and Emergencies
- Keep certified copies of your marriage license, second-parent adoption orders, powers of attorney, and birth certificates with both parents listed.
- When traveling or dealing with medical institutions in less LGBTQ+-friendly areas, these documents may prevent harmful delays or denials of recognition.
4. Medical Authorizations and Digital Access
- Sign HIPAA releases so that your partner or co-parent can speak with healthcare providers and access medical records for all appropriate family members.
- Use shared health care portals and consider a digital storage service (or a password-protected cloud folder) for all essential documents.
Education, Advocacy, and Family Resilience
1. Secure Both Parents’ Role At Your Child’s School
- Make sure both parents are listed on school forms and authorized for pickups, conferences, and emergency contacts.
- Ask schools how they record parent names and relationships in their systems—and advocate for inclusive practices if needed.
2. Attend Legal Clinics and Document Days
- Many LGBTQ+ legal organizations offer free clinics to prepare wills, powers of attorney, and adoption paperwork. These events are often virtual and easy to attend, and sometimes are held in partnership with law schools or bar associations.
- If you’re aware of an upcoming legal clinic or document preparation event, help spread the word. Sharing details with friends, local organizations, or online networks can make these services more accessible to LGBTQ+ individuals and families in your community.
3. Include Digital Assets in Estate Planning
- Add instructions in your will or trust for managing digital property—email accounts, cloud storage, photo libraries, and social media.
- These assets often carry sentimental value and may be inaccessible without clear legal authority, especially if your next of kin is not your partner or co-parent.
Evidence of Parenting Intent
If your legal rights as a parent are ever challenged, evidence of your role in your child’s life may be key. Examples include:
- School enrollment forms listing both parents
- Medical forms with both parents as contacts
- Shared financial contributions to child-related expenses
- Photographs, emails, or written agreements that reflect your shared parenting responsibilities
Final Thoughts
You shouldn’t have to build an airtight legal wall around your family—but in this moment, planning ahead is a form of care, not fear. These deeper protections are for anyone who wants to ensure their rights and relationships are respected regardless of where they live, who’s in office, or what the courts decide.
Pair this guide with our primary resource, “Protecting LGBTQ+ Families and Identities: A 10-Year Reflection on Obergefell and the Ongoing Fight for Equality,” for a full picture of your current rights and protections.