By Lambda Legal Integrated Marketing Associate Liz Ternes
When Sophie came out as trans, Josh approached the experience the same way he has approached parenthood from the beginning: by listening.
Today, their relationship is built on trust, mutual respect, and plenty of time spent together — whether that’s at concerts and art exhibits, or holding long conversations in the car. It’s through those everyday moments that Josh has slowly and intentionally helped create a space where Sophie feels supported, understood, and loved exactly as they are.
Their story is a reminder that some of the most meaningful acts of support aren’t complicated and don’t require grand gestures. They begin simply with a parent who is willing to listen, learn, and show up.
Growing Together
Josh and Sophie have always shared a close relationship, with the normal ups and downs that come with being a parent and child. But over the last several years, that connection has grown even stronger.
“There’s a lot of time in the car to talk,” Josh shared. “It also means that Sophie trusts me to be a part of her world as she finds her community.”
For Sophie, that trust comes naturally because of the relationship they have built together.
“My dad and I have a lot of shared interests and love spending time with each other,” Sophie said. “He is a really kind person who loves helping others and I admire him greatly for that.”
Their connection is rooted in love for each other and the willingness to learn from each other.
Listening Without Judgement
When Sophie first began sharing parts of their identity with their family, Josh remembers the conversations feeling honest and matter-of-fact.
First, Sophie shared that they were a lesbian. Later came different pronouns and eventually the realization that they identified as trans.
“There was no drama; it was not a big moment,” Josh recalled. “It was just her sharing with us.”
Josh says that growing up Jewish and being heavily involved in social justice and labor movements helped him develop the empathy and willingness to learn that he needed when Sophie was coming out.
“We are taught to welcome in the stranger and treat them like family. Standing up for the underdog, speaking truth to power and understanding what it feels like to be an outsider have played a big role in my life.”
What stayed with him most was Sophie’s confidence and self-awareness at such a young age.
“I’ve just been in awe that she understood herself that well and felt so comfortable sharing with us.”
That openness made a lasting impact on Sophie as well.
“My dad’s political beliefs do not interfere with my identity. They welcome it,” Sophie explained. “That made me feel comfortable to come out as trans.”
Josh never approached Sophie’s identity as something to debate or “solve.” Instead, he focused on listening and showing up.
“I’ve never wanted to do anything but be there for her and support her,” he said.
Creating Space to Be Yourself
Support in their family often looks like simple, everyday acts of care.
Josh listens when Sophie wants to vent. He watches shows they recommend, reads books they suggest, and drives them to volunteer events and LGBTQIA+ gatherings. Together, they explore new restaurants before concerts or spend evenings driving around listening to music and talking.
Many of the performers and artists they see are members of the trans community, something that has helped Sophie feel seen and connected.
“At the shows, Sophie fights through their anxieties and self-doubt to introduce themself to the artists,” Josh said. “She’s finding role models, forming friendships, and building a network. They are creating their own community.”
For Sophie, those experiences have been transformative.
“My favorite thing to do with my dad is going to events and getting to experience our heroes, live and in-person, together,” they said. “We introduce each other to artists that inspire us and have a lot of fun together.”
Just as importantly, Josh has created a home environment where Sophie feels respected and heard.
“My dad listens to me, tries his hardest to understand my point of view, and helps others understand my point of view,” Sophie shared. “He respects my pronouns and gives me leeway to do what I need to make myself comfortable.”
What stands out most to Sophie is Josh’s willingness to keep learning.
“His ability to listen and change his behavior when I point out an issue stands out to me,” they said.
Advice for Other Parents
Josh knows that many parents may feel uncertain when their child comes out as trans or nonbinary. His advice is simple: lead with love and listen.
“Just be there for them, love them, and support them,” he said. “Follow their lead. We don’t need to have all the answers, and that’s okay.”
Sophie echoed that message.
“Do research, recognize that your child’s feelings are valid, respect your child’s pronouns, and most importantly, listen to your child,” Sophie said. “Make your child feel supported, loved, and worthy.”
Josh and Sophie’s story is one of many that reminds us what is possible when a parent chooses to listen, learn, and lead with love. At Lambda Legal, we fight every day to protect that possibility — for Sophie, and for every trans young person who deserves a parent in their corner.
Check out our All Rise campaign to meet other families with trans youth and learn more about our work.